There once was a maestro called Liszt Said he’d never been on the piste When he sat down to compose He’d get right up your nose For he’d play and never desist. [ Something not quite right with this limerick. Is there something I’ve missed? ]
I treasure the Vicar of Bray, hooray And feel I have something to say today His funeral service for cousin Shirley Was gentle and kind for Shirley died early Let’s pray at the end of the day, I say. [ My cousin Shirley had a wicked sense of humour and I feel sure she […]
The wedding dress came from Chanel The bride-to-be’s idea of Hell She wouldn’t marry the loafer But ran off with the Chauffeur And took the posh car as well. [ This limerick was inspired by an exhibition of wedding dresses in Ripon Cathedral, August 2021. One of the dresses told the story of the […]
Pierced in the thrust and fight for glory The cuts, the blows, the shrieks, the fury The mess of battle, the fatal blow The screams of death, the mighty flow Of battle scrum, the bloody tide The savage roar, no place to hide No time for hope, no time to pray The gods decide, the […]
Most inconvenient it was for the witch To develop an insatiable twitch When she strangled the broomstick to an inch of its life And pranged full throttle somewhere South-West of Fife Witch sisters prayed for the filthiest ditch!
When Macbeth was arrayed in best plaid And justice was somewhat delayed They quickly remembered that next to his kilt His weapon was poised to go right to the hilt So his clansmen skipped the parade.
It’s Macbeth who’s coming for you With his sword to cut you in two With a tad of revulsion You felt the compulsion To sacrifice one of the crew.
With Macbeth there was plenty to fear As he snarled from ear to ear When he unsheathed his sword You just had to applaud But hope he’d be spliced on a spear.
Fiery sisters, cursing, blurting Fiendish harpies loving hurting Those desiring so sly to bring False acts of war against the King. Eyes of venom, hard wills of steel Calls of hatred to make those feel That this way comes a prophecy To make a King through heresy. Seek to poison a fool’s desire […]
To live and die a valiant King A thousand years ago And armoured up for skirmishing Alongside dear Banquo. On the sands of mighty rivers deep A thousand years ago On gleaming crags of mountains steep Macbeth would dreaming go. And through a battling seventeen years A thousand years ago The Queen trod […]
Turning to my painting of Macbeth. I was told by a friend that the colour of Macbeth’s plaid would probably have been a middle blue. Having completed the painting, I thought I’d check for more helpful thoughts and consequently phoned a curator of Scottish Arms and Armour in Edinburgh, cheerfully describing my work, with Macbeth […]
THANE OF CAWDOR! I WIS HOPING FER PROCURATOR FISCAL FER DUMFRIES! Some years after Pete Williams drew his Macbeth cartoons, there was an exhibition of his work held in Chester. One day the Curator was approached by a Scottish visitor who said how much he enjoyed Pete’s work and wondered whether any of the cartoons […]
Can I delay the measured beat of time And like a tug–of–war dig in my heels To feel some purchase in the slipping soil And capture for myself an added dime? Can I by subterfuge and sleight of hand Regain a youthful force remembered And spin the coin with clear–sighted eye Daring many close […]
Good God Almighty! My dear wife Cath Caught the disaster from the garden path The flamin’ dog’s eaten my darling hat! Distinguished bowler’s torn to shreds That earlier perched on illustrious heads. Savaged by our dreamy English setter Incapable of making the damn’ thing better The bowler’s exquisite and forbidding crown Is deep in […]
The young Vicar got shirty with Gertie For her language was frequently flirty He fell to his knees As quick as you please And prayed she’d be transferred by 10.30.
The Professor said something profound Monstrous intake of breath all around She’d been thinking so hard long into the night How her students’ great gifts might quickly take flight Then mass grief was the critical sound.
Still lying here, nailed by debris and spoiled by shrapnel My spent eyes caught a raging and a roaring in the heavens Of flying beasts clashing, of winged creatures bickering Of dangers and of dying, of deeds by urgent boys In the face of terror, of deadly menace from other shores. And still the clash […]
No vile torment in this World of tears Has bit so deep and willed such fears. As I lay in the bloodied place In the blood-soaked pool In the darkened wood Where the pain was cruel There a single figure stood Thorn-torn with bloodied face. And I counted with my counting hand The souls coming […]
Annwyl Mrs Williams Gyda chalon drom ‘rwy’n ‘sgwennu nodyn i chwi ei fam mewn galar dwys eich mab yn ddewr wynebodd y gelyn ond fel llawer brawd mae ‘nawr dan y gwys. Bu farw yn falch fel pob gwir arwr ‘roedd ef fel ei ffrindiau’n gobeithio cael byw fe’u collwn i gyd, pob […]
Dear Mrs Williams It is with heavy heart I write this note Just to you his grieving mother Your son before he died had smote The foe, like many a brother. But he has gladly died a hero’s death Alike with many of his squad And we have missed his manly breath When recommending him […]
Let Christ awake and make the harvests flower In homage to our Glorious Dead For we are those who bless this new born hour Before when millions of us bled Who passed the gate of Hell yet cheated Death And mourned for many friends To live a life of sorts with every passing breath Yet […]
Daniel Slaughterhouse As small as a mouse Entered the fray So small and grey And licked his lips Straightened his hips As he peered about Screamed a shout At advancing Jerry Coming in haste to bury Daniel and all his mates Flatten them to dinner plates. Of a sudden, an arriving sound Came sprouting all […]
I’m dreamingly remembering my soldiers of the War Imagining our boys and theirs, appalled at what I saw.
What struck me was the gentle, fragrant breeze That tripped across a wheat field and its hedges Calling for Man’s mercy as dainty as you please Then came foul thunder to obliterate all pledges.