IN MAUD’S GARDEN WITH CLAUDE

I’ll come into your garden, Maud

To see what we shall see

I hope you’ll not find me a fraud

When you chivvy me onto your knee.

I imagine this bench is insured

For you’re the pride of Wavertree

But my curious nature is cured

As I bolt to the gate and flee.

By chance a Cunarder is moored

And almost ready for sea

In such a dither thinking of Maud

But it’s the ocean life for me.

Returning later as Captain Claude

To see what I shall see

There’s the gate and there is Maud

And her smile to welcome me.

She told me I was the one she adored

So I on my blended knee

Said I was here to love and applaud

This precious Belle of Wavertree.

With grovelling apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson